Follow by Email

Monday, August 23, 2010

Try before you buy.

Hi, my name is Em Rusciano. Mother of two, wife, recovering manic depressive, reality TV survivor, former breakfast radio host – and that's just all in the last 10 years.

I thought I would spend this particular blog introducing myself and then you can decide if you wish to return.

I am 31, although mentally about 19. I surround myself with gay men and can't spell. I am a political junkie and my wardrobe consists of mainly tutus and combat boots.

Homer Simpson is a personal hero of mine along with Ita Butrose, Gough Whitlam and Peggy Guggenheim.

I constantly feel like a failure and am not really sure what I want to do when I grow up.

I was an elite hurdler.

I have depression.

I am no longer medicated for this depression as I have got to a point where I can now get out of bed un-aided!

I swear. A Lot. 

I was on Australian Idol in 2004. I was "the mother who cried". That was the label assigned to me by the shows producers anyway. Having not really sang much at all it came as a complete shock to make the top 12. I was a bit mental throughout the whole process because it was so bloody overwhelming. 

Imagine being a stay at home Mum studying at Uni having never had any real aspirations to be a performer (look I did spend a large amount of my youth trying to convince my parents to let me join Young Talent Time but didn't we all) and then all of a sudden finding yourself being catapulted into the public eye. I am a raw, messy person who pisses people off just by breathing. It was an extremely steep learning curve.

I felt the best course of action was to go about it as though nothing was unusual and tried to just be myself but soon found that I was leaving myself wide open for misinterpretation and criticism. I was a walking sound bite. The producers loved me. A lot of the public hated me.

In the end I came 9th, not bad for someone who had not really sung in public before. After I left Idol I got into broadcasting. I could not believe someone was willing to pay me money to talk shit. It was my dream job. Radio is a tough gig, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The trick to radio is knowing when to STOP talking, that's the true art of it.

Austereo (FOX FM, 2DAY FM, B104.5, SAFM, 92.9FM) saw something in me and offered me the DREAM GIG. Hosting breakfast radio (which is the holy grail for those aspiring to do broadcasting) in Perth. My husband had been working in AFL for a while now and was looking for a break so we decided to take it.

Perth is a beautiful city. I spent 4 years there and don't regret a second of it. Getting up at 3:45am sucks arse. It just does. It's HORRENDOUS. It nearly destroyed me. It destroyed my relationship with my co-host Wippa who ended up leaving to go and work at NOVA and I almost lost my best friend Sam Mac (who replaced Wippa) over it but I learned so much about myself through IMMENSE self reflection and constant feedback and as a result grew as a person. Plus I got to sing with Chris Martin from Coldplay and thank Kevin Rudd for saying sorry to the stolen generation, pretty bloody awesome.

I quit my job December just gone and moved home to Melbourne. Best. Decision. Ever. 

I have only had two moments of absolute clarity in my lifetime, moments where I didn't question myself at all. You must understand every move I make is usually plagued with self doubt and fear. The first was walking out of an abortion clinic 9 years ago deciding that I would keep my baby and the second was quitting my breakfast radio job. 

I think both those decisions saved my life.

On the work front I'm on the 7pm Project each week doing the Metro Whip around (I love this show and ALL the people who work on it) and I am on Kerri-Anne  weekly as well. I hope to do radio again one day, once the "diva" tag has died down.

I don't have an agent or a manager. I should get one. I don't know if anyone will have me.

I have started singing again and it's in my kids' toy room with my guitarist who recently moved here from Perth. We hope to do an open mic night soon.

I have learned that no-one is perfect and if someone spends their energy trying to ruin your day/week/life just tell them to go away (swear if need be, I would). Life is too short for wankers.

I love my kids.

I think working Mothers are the un-sung heros of our society.

I now – LOVE MY LIFE.

So there you have it. A messy, confusing account of the author of this blog. I promise to keep it simple and concise the next time we meet. I though you should see the real me before I get onto the serious blogging.

E x