Follow by Email

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Broken Vibes.

I always thought I had pretty good vibes.. You know, a tad crazy but earthy and authentic at the same time. Well meaning if not a little un predictable but all in all solid, dependable, fabulous vibes...

Up until a short time ago I thought if my vibes were a person they'd look like this:

It would appear I had my vibes all wrong.. It would appear my vibes actually look like this:

Yes friends. I have rancid vibes. How do I know this? I know this because someone I have known for 12 years and held very dear to my heart recently ended our friendship due to my aberrant vibes.

Recently I was sent the following text message:

"Your vibrations are no longer welcome in my life. I'm sorry if that sounds hurtful, but it's my absolute truth."

What? Hurtful! No of course not... That's a perfectly reasonable text message to send to someone you've been quite close with for over a decade, fine. I'll just be taking my unwanted, toxic vibrations elsewhere then will I? Is there somewhere I can go to have them counseled? Can I take some sort of a tablet to fix them? Can I get new ones?

Obviously there was some sort of catalyst that lead to the SMS being sent. I will have to simplify the situation that resulted in this text message for NUMEROUS reasons. Mainly because it's a very long, boring and juvenile tale. Here's the break down:

This person's sister started seeing a friend of mine. 
It ended spectacularly badly. 
I stupidly got in the middle of it. 
This person felt I didn't protect their sister adequately enough during the ugly ending. 
I have since learnt this person's sister has many problems, one of which appears to be distorting the truth to make herself out to be a victim in a situation she exacerbated by erratic and appalling behaviour. 

I had no idea my friend had an issue with me until I went to send them a message on Facebook and realised with a sting that I had, in fact, been deleted!

Ah the facebook deletion.. It's my generation's answer to slamming the phone down. It's hard to hang up on someone with flair nowadays. The person on the other end cannot sense how hard you push the "end call" button on your iphone or blackberry so we turn to the facebook deletion.. 

Its not as sudden but when the relisation hits that you've been barred from someone's profile you once could access easy breezy, the effect is just as breath taking. 

I thought... Wait a minute! We have plans this weekend.. We spoke only 3 days ago... I've been deleted? DELETED!!

I immediately called this person, I had to know what had happened.. No answer.

I text them.. No answer..

Finally after a week the now infamous "vibes" text arrived on my phone..

I was truly flabbergasted. We had not even had a conversation regarding what I assumed to be the issue which was their sister's and my friend's relationship going horribly wrong. Not one word spoken. They'd taken the word of their troubled and hurt sister over mine. I didn't even get to take the stand. Given a guilty verdict without trial, sent to the chair without an appeal - I'll stop with the law analogies now.

I felt the need to canvass all my friends on my "vibes" just in case I did have an underlying issue I was unaware of.. You can never be too careful with these things. I was re-assured I had excellent vibes by all "The Gays" and "The Girls" confirmed the health of them also..

So, I've had to try and be at peace with this person's behaviour and decision to end our friendship. 

My husband Scotty probably had the best response to this whole situation. After viewing the text message and dealing with my sobbing he said: "Emy, that message is piss weak. Move on." 

Sage words husband, my vibes and I are going to do just that.

Speak soon.

E x


Alberto Kang - Special AGENT said...

All i can think of is "The Castle" and when they are in court, "Its The Vibe your honor, its MABO and, just The Vibe in General"

Anonymous said...

Oh no. Better off without them, I say. Grown ups don't need that shiz. I just had a friendship event of juvenile proportions over the weekend which left me stinging too.
There should be a support group: "Survivors of people who think they're still in high school". I think it would catch on even if it did all get a bit hypocritical with everyone sitting there bitching together haha.
I love your tweeting, blogging and television vibes - you don't need that sh*t - that person's vibes sound like the broken ones to me!
- Kez

Manieka said...

Gosh, I completely know how you feel. A very close friend of mine ended our friendship a few years ago. Over MSN. His last words to me were "oh, ok. Bye". I'll never forget it. I was never given a chance to reply or speak to him, and he never contacted me again. It's hard to think that someone you were so close with, shared so much with and spent so much of your life with can just chuck it away. You think you know people, hey...

Shimi said...

I have a sister that sounds very similar to the "sister" in question. As hurtful as it is, the friend will realise the truth one day. Been there - it is like a lightbulb goes on when you finally realise the person they are, and that I made a lot of wrong decisions based on someone wanted to be known as the victim.

Hopefully it with time you will get the friendship back. I follow your tweets and blog and your "vibe" seems fine to me!


Eileen said...

you know what em, when i have a problem with my friends or visa versa, we do the normal thing: sit down and TALK! while i have become obsessed with twitter and facebook after i was made to come into the 21st century kicking and screaming, what is wrong with talking?
this is not directed to you, believe me, cause you've been done wrong by here. if anybody unfriended me of sent me a stupid text about vibes and how things have changed; i'd decide how important this "friend" is or was that they weren't able to confront me and bloody talk to me.
nobody needs friends who don't have the guts to do the right thing by you - no matter how much you love them and how long you've been friends for.
time to move on em. pick up you feather boa, dust off your glitter and go forward and show this ex-friend how you can live your life without her!
it's all about you now miss em...

The Chef said...

Sounds like your ex-friend needs a cup of "harden the f#@k up". lol

I agree with your husband.
Well said.

Back in the day before the information age, friendships were real. Arguments were had for hours over the phone or in person, a cry, a hug and everything was sorted.

Now everybody hides behind the computer screen *tap tap* and are too gutless to communicate and sort things out.

But the lesson of the day is, never get involved in anyones relationship for any reason. Your best intentions can have disastrous consenquences.

Quite the case of "Quid Pro Quo?"


4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle said...

Yes, piss weak is an excellent description. I like the defriend/hangup analogy. Very true.


Jackie K said...

People have got completely carried away with the talk about surrounding yourself with good energy, getting rid of "toxic" people from your life etc - that someone (your friend) would think this is OK to send this kind of awful, cruel message to someone? No wonder you were upset.

SOL's view said...

Love your writing. Hopefully Mia will invite you to write more often!

I shall be lurking in the darkness waiting for the next installment.



LOL! My word verification is 'catfulat'. Try putting that in a sentence...

Judd Exley said...

Wife sometimes says to me, "You're not everybody's cuppa tea baby, and in truth, you wouldn't fucking want to be."

And she's right.