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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I'm sorry. This won't take long..

Please forgive me for what I am about to tell you.

Try not to let your eyes roll out of your head when you read what I have done.

We can get through this you and I, I promise.

I have broken up with friends for less so I understand what you are about to feel towards me.

Here goes.

I am on a health kick.

I have been exercising, a lot.

It's been about 8 weeks now and God help me I feel good.

It gets worse, I look forward to my daily run and my twice weekly "strength" session with my *trainer Dean - aka the dark lord.. (*I know I used the "T" word.)

If it makes any difference he is an ex stripper! He once belonged to a "dance troupe" called "Bad Boyz" so at least he's got pizazz. Picture a huge chunk of a man with brown hair and deeply tanned skin. He's in his mid forties and gets around in high waisted, tight, black silky tracksuit pants. He minces about the gym in a manly fashion (it's possible picture Paul Mecurio in Strictly ballroom.)
You can tell Dean knows how to do a decent pelvic thrust.

I am attributing my newly acquired fitness to my ability to deal with the challenging time I have been going through mentally. If it weren't for the endorphins produced by the exercise I think I would have tattooed something by now or spent thousands of dollars I don't have on an antique "saddle leather" chesterfield couch. (I still may, just checking the dimensions of the space I wish it to fill..)

Usually I switch off and wish death upon someone when they start taking about their "amazing new diet" or how many "pump" classes they've done that week. Exercise braggers do my head in, you know the ones - they check into their gym on Facebook. When you ask them how they are they complain about how sore their calves are from Zumba (vomit).

I haven't become one of them but I have joined their cult, I pledge to remain a silent member.

I purchased a running "app" on my iphone and this lovely lady with an English accent coaches me through my walk/jog/sprint program. It really does help, having that polite voice say to me "keep going you've only got 15 seconds more to run and then we're half way" makes all the difference. I also like how she refers to it as "us" like her and I are in this thing together.

I am deliberately making this a very short post as I wish to limit the amount of damage I am doing to your opinion of me.

I just wanted to say if you've been feeling a little flat recently or out of control it could be as simple as strapping on your runners and working a sweat up. Those lunatics who preach the exercise gospel are unfortunately onto something. Disappointing isn't it..


 Let us never speak of this again.

 Em x


If you're in Melbourne town this Sunday night I am singing a couple songs at The Toff, it's a nice early one so you'll be home tucked up at a reasonable hour as it is a school night.

Details here: Em's Toff gig.


Anna said...

oh Em I say bloody good on you! I am in the club of regular exerciser who is quiet about it (i.e gym work outs 5 days a week and yoga once a week)... but I'm allowed to admit that here as we're sharing. I think now I dont do it for anything else but how alert and ok it makes me feel mentally. I hope whatever it is your going through though that is consuming you mentally is over soon - remember you're a talented woman, fantastic singer, fabulous wife and an amazing mum (I am storing your advice for when I do have kids a la the stand off you had with your 4 year old & her bathing) - it always gets better!

Anna xo

ScrubberSteve said...

Is there something in the water? I've also been on a health kick for a couple of weeks and it really has made a difference, both physically and more importantly, mentally. Begone mental issues and hello 2 kilos lighter middle aged blob! LOL. Keep it up, Em. We can do it! :)

Kez said...

Hahahaha I became one of THEM last year - now I'm preggers and slacking off (well it feels like it - I mean I miss Zumba sooooo much because I was like sooooo good at it).
I feel just like you! Happy to be a silent member of the health conscious cult haha.
Great post :)

Anonymous said...

Em, I am an avid follower of yours both in Perth and since I have moved to Melbourne. thank you so much for sharing, I have recently gone through some mental turmoil and have found exercise to be so helpful! I admire you even more than ever! Keep the advice coming!!

Fiona xo

Aneets said...

Em can you share the app you've purchased as have started running myself and it sounds great.

The Chef said...

LOL. Congrats on your achievement. Will be joining your lot too very soon. Doctors orders. May drag the wife out on sunday to your show finally. No promises tho ;)

Brando said...

Thankgod it's not just me.
I'm so anti "excercise people", but I just started this two day a week bootcamp and I'm hating how much I'm loving it.
I missed one day & I felt horrid.
It's ok, you are not alone!