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Monday, September 19, 2011

Not ALL stories involving nipple exposure end well..

The following story literally made me gag.

Then want to take a shower.

Then want to hold my children close.

Am I over reacting? Probably, but you're all fairly accustomed to that by now right?

My sister- in-law related this story to me and it has haunted me ever since.. It is in regards to a "friend" of hers.. (You will come to see why the inverted commas are now around the word FRIEND when before this incident they would not have been required.)

*Jill (my sister-in-law) had a couple of the girls from her Mothers group around to her house last week. Let us call them Mother number 2 and Mother number 3. They no longer attended the main Mothers group as they had broken off into a smaller, younger renegade group.

As lunch time rolled around it became apparent that there would not be enough food in the house to feed everyone so *Jill and Mother number 2 said they'd go and get lunch if the Mother number 3 didn't mind staying with the kids.

Of course she didn't mind, so off *Jill and Mother number 2 went.

While they were shopping for cheese rolls, sushi and apple slice unspeakable events were unfolding back at the house.

*Jill and Mother number 2 were gone for a total of 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes that Mothers group would be CHANGED FOREVER.. (Forever, forever, forever.........  - FYI this is a dramatic echo)

Am I building the suspense enough? I still bet you can't guess what happened..

*Jill and Mother number 2 arrived back at the house to find all three children having a nap.

Well done Mother number 3 they exclaimed! Mother number 2 was especially surprised as her child hadn't been fed yet and was hard to get to sleep when she hadn't been fed. No milk = no sleep for Mother number 2's child.

"I'm surprised you could get *Misty to sleep, she hasn't been fed yet. I always have to give her a feed before she goes down at lunch time. I don't know what I'll do when I stop BREAST FEEDING HER."

Have I dropped enough clues yet? Need I go on?

Oh alright.

Mother number 3 replied:

"Oh, *Timmy skipped his feed and I had a full boob so I popped *Misty on it. She guzzled it down and went straight to sleep!"



Let us pause here.

This is an act that can NEVER BE UNDONE. Never, ever not once ever can it be undone..

It's like finding out your flatmate has been cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush. You can't take back all those times you had the brush in your mouth after it had cleaned poo from the crevices of your toilet.

The image of Mother number 3's nipple in her child's mouth can NEVER be erased form Mother number 2's mind. That milk can never be un-drunk.

Yessssss, I know there were wet nurses back in the day and I know some women today use them but for me it's JUST NOT RIGHT. I'm not saying you are a bad person if you allow some other womans boob to go into your babies mouth for nourishment, I'm just saying don't ever let it be my baby.

Breast feeding is an intensely personal thing. It is bonding time, it is boobs and nipples and babies and family and well it's breast feeding for christsake! Who shoves their tit in a random kid's mouth without at least asking said kid's Mother first? (Wow that sentance would be SO wrong if taken out of context.)

Mother number 2 apparently lost her shit.

Mother number 3 was ushered out of the house at a rapid pace. It was excruciatingly awkward and none of the girls have been able to speak since.

I don't think I would recover from that type of thing either.

Am I being a weirdo? I totally accept it if you think I am.. Perhaps I am not as open minded as I thought I was..

How would you react if this was your child?

*Jill, Misty and Timmy's names have been changed to protect their dignity and identity.

In totally unrelated news I have a new facebook page here:"Like" Em here (I know what a wank huh?)

I also have a live show in Melbourne this Saturday night, it involves stories like this one and some singing. Come along if you can. Info here:  Em's live show info

I'm of course worried the room will be empty so tell your friends!

E x


Hannah said...

I could not believe my eyes when I read literally made my stomach churn!

I am not a mother so I have never breast fed and as such can only imagine how special it is, in terms of bonding with your child, but also in terms of anti-bodies and hygiene.

I am flawed that someone would do that without consulting the babies mother. Actually I am just flawed that someone would do that, especially in our society.

Thanks for sharing Em, if for nothing else you have truly shocked me...and I don't shock easily.

SofieC said...

If another woman wanted the torture of my son gnawing away at her breast, then that would be punishment enough for her!

Very inappropriate, totally crosses all boundaries.

Unless you were stranded somewhere without food, water etc. and the only thing left was your friend's breast milk for your baby... THEN and only then would you think about letting her reach for her boob.

Dan - Perth said...

My mouth is still on the floor! I have heard a story similar to this from a friend visiting Phuket, where when they left there son with a local babysitter were horrified to find out that she had breastfeed their restless baby!!! Apparently a natural practice over there but they were left gobsmacked to say the least!

I couldn't imagine another mother feeding my daughter and I think that it would haunt me for a long time to come! Poor Jill* MG will never be the same again...

Anonymous said...

I don't have a problem with it. I've never done it (breastfed someone elses child) but don't think I'd be bothered by it (having my child breasfed by someone else or breastfeeding someone elses child). In many cultures around the world it's no big deal. I think we are a nation of prudes.

Sam Keast said...

The real question is did the kid object? Clearly not. We are pathetically prudish about our bodies and their functions. The idea that breast feeding is personal and private is a socially constructed idea that many cultures don't follow and shouldn't be misconstrued as some biological fact. It is simply the act of feeding, big whoop.

RealEstateGirl said...

OMG WTF!!!!????
I actually cottoned on to where you were going fairly early on but like not be able to look away from a train wreck I continued reading.
In a first world, I don't think this is EVER justified and is kind of sick (I don't presume to judge mothers with starving children in Africa).
I think there would be physical violence if this was my child that was fed.

Anonymous said...

I've popped another baby on my boob before - her mum was in the same room and had her hands tied up with something else so I did make sure Mum was happy before I popped her fussing baby on, just for a comfort suck. Neither of us thought anything of it. I had no idea it was such an abhorrent idea to other people. Personally don't understand why, but will be mindful not to bring that incident up in public for fear of this type of response!

Judd Exley said...

Yes, it's common in other cultures.

OHMYHOLYFUCK YES, she should've asked first. Was her mobile dead?

Somebody did that to my kid and I'd be spitting it.

I'd also walk over, grab her hand and start scratching my bare ass with it. "What?! *I* do it, what's the big deal?"

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's as big a deal as the sort of westernised culture makes it out to be. In loads of cultures women breastfeed other people's children. Even Salma Hayek did it once (admittedly the child was starving and the mother could not produce milk, but still). Obviously it would have been much better if she had asked first, but I don't think it's something that warrants violence as a previous commenter suggested. If it was my child I probably would have been shocked, but would have had calm words with the mother instead of losing it at her.

Anonymous said...

I think its a big deal. However I like how readily the mother got her boobs out for a non-related baby. Do you think maybe if I dressed up as a baby...???

JoJo Styling said...

It seems most of the feedback is about the lack of permission which I think would be hard for anyone to disagree with – a quick phone call would have been the sensible thing to do. Interesting to read the different points of view though.

Marion said...

OMG WTF!! I have just read mamamia and can not believe some of the comments left about the story and you as well. Good on you Em for commenting on this story, I totally agree with you!! Its so easy for people to attack other people whilst being anon...

Louisa said...

so wrong, so gross. a girlfriend has still not recovered from her grandmother suggesting she should feed her niece when her sister was delayed one day. Nup keep your boobs away from babies other than your own girls!

Georgie said...

It's not weird or gross but should never be done without the child's mother's permission (I would be just as pissed off if someone offered a bottle to my breastfed baby without asking my permission first).